Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Soccer Tournies & Red Tape or How I Almost Lost It Today

Writing this post on an iPad today -- husband needed his laptop back. Time to start thinking seriously about the computer situation. Meanwhile, I give you "A Day in the Life of the Soccer Team Manager's Wife." This is all in fun, of course. Although at the time, I seriously considered buying a one-way ticket to Hawaii or something, just to recuperate. And all I had to do was fill out some tournament forms online.

Here's how it went, more or less, and then to get the full effect, simply multiply by 3 for the number of tournaments our boys are entering over the summer. Two forms per tourney.

(And remember, this is all for the love of playing soccer. Simple, right?)

Form: "Team Entry Form"

Info needed: Club name, club OSA number, team name, team OSA number, team type, district name, league name, league level, division, last Year's standings, team home jersey colours, team home jersey alternate colours, team away jersey colours, team away alternate jersey colours.

I did not know the league info so I left that blank and moved on. First mistake.

Ok so then: coach's name, coach's OSA number, coach's work phone, coach's home phone, coach's address, coach's website (???but not necessary thank god), coach's email, coach's cell number, coach's left shoe size, coach's grandmother's paternal cousin's favourite tv show, coach's previous four addresses and coach's wedding anniversary, if applicable. (OK I may have made up a few, but you get the gist).

Repeat above for team manager. Assistant coach must not be that important (sorry Ken!) because all the info required from him was his name and OSA number. That's OK though, because there was also a line for "Assistant Manager" and we don't have one, although I guess for today it would have been me. But I do not have the all-important OSA number therefore I am a worthless "0" (the field of which had to be filled in or I was not allowed to proceed with my order.)

Now the fun part. Enter all the names of 15 kids on the team, all of their frigging 7-digit OSA numbers, team jersey numbers, and birth dates (DD/MM/YYYY). I am surprised I didn't have to list their pets' names in alphabetical order along with ages and weights and last vet check-ups.

For the first tourney, I did all of this. Then I called our soccer club to help me fill in the missing info. Naturally, everyone, including the secretary who answers the phone, was in a meeting. So I emailed our coach. He replied immediately with the info I needed. But somehow, I think when I temporarily left the form web site to go to my webmail, something happened to that precious form. As in, it disappeared. As in, I had to re- enter everything. This happened twice for one tournament.

I became more efficient after that, if not slightly crankier. I almost lost it one time when I forgot to fill in half the coach's postal code and got that annoying little "DING!" sound, meaning, in this case, YOUR BOYS CANNOT PLAY IN THIS SOCCER TOURNAMENT UNTIL WE HAVE YOUR COACH'S COMPLETE POSTAL CODE. Although I had to fill in all the same info for each tourney, at least I eventually managed to save the forms. Hallelujah!

Form: "Application to Travel" (repeat team information, less players' names, etc, and repeat coach and manager information)

If only I had a brain like Rain Man. I could really creep out our team players at the next game: "Hey Stevie, yeah you, number 234-478-123, birthdate 01/01/2002, pets named BooBoo, Barfy and Scooter! Your dogs need their flea medication! Call the vet or you're OFF the TEAM!"

Oh and coach, your anniversary's coming up. Don't forget to get the wife something nice...

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