The Runner's High "As Good As It Gets" Career List

Love this card I found at Details in Alliston. For more on the artist Susan Mrosek visit www.ponderingpool.com. (See? This is the shopper in me sharing great little finds and promoting local retailers and artists at the same time.)

Are you the kind of person who needs "everything taken care of" (pardon the dangling preposition) before you can follow your passion? I am. Which means that writing a daily blog probably won't happen for me until I'm around 80. Maybe.

I get the sneaking suspicion, after being a "grown up" (in the legal sense) for almost 32 years now, that "everything taken care of" can be a form of procrastination. For example, do I really need to put all my DVDs in alphabetical order and then organize the shoes in my closet before I sit down and write? No, of course not. 

Working out and running can also fall to the wayside in the same way. For example, here was my morning thought: "What a beautiful morning. It is still early. I have nothing pressing on my schedule right now. I should go for a nice, long run. But wait -- I haven't blogged for about a month. I should write something, and THEN go for a run." That's a professional procrastinator in top form.

But I decided to blog anyway, because I am happy to report that from Sunday to Wednesday I managed to "squeeze in" two decent runs, one 10K and the other 12K, which is saying a lot after all this summer's "rest days." Fall is around the corner, a time of year when many of us start thinking of change and fresh beginnings. In our house, we have two going to university this September, and one child left at home entering grade six. And being the third child and seven years younger than his closest sibling, he has grown up fairly independent in his thinking. Which means to say, he would be totally fine if mommy went back to work. 

Which leads me back to the "everything taken care of" thing and how it relates to my running. When I get lost in thought while out on a run, I can't help but think of all the great possibilities for this fall, for me. Me me me. What a concept. And while I have been extremely lucky that my husband has had a career that has enabled me to stay home and raise our kids, while just "dabbling" in some freelance work over the years (which I loved and love) we are at a stage right now at home where a few extra bucks on a steady basis every month would be helpful. University is awesome and not cheap. Running is cheap, but running one's own business (which my husband now does) is not. I feel ready to contribute. And while running, I feel SO ready it's like I'm on drugs. I get so excited about the prospects. Gotta love the runner's high.

This list is probably more for my personal benefit than for anyone else, but it is a little crazy, and therefore if it hits your funny bone, or perhaps even inspires you, then great. If not, then, oh well, on to the next blog. 

Ideas for How to Make Money 

Garnered During My Runner's High 

(Note: Some ideas are solid and sane, others are completely flaky. Somewhere in-between is the real me. And yes, when I do this kind of thing, I can't help but think of that Oscar-winning movie, As Good As It Gets, specifically the part when Jack Nicholson's character says to all the patients in his psychologist's waiting room, "What if this is as good as it gets?" Well then, at least I wrote the list and made a couple of you smile.)

1. Freelance write for publications that interest you. Seriously. Not just for one publication, which would be fine if you just had to look after yourself and live on the street in a cardboard box, but for several. You've been saying this to yourself since you began your "stay-at-home-mom" venture 20 years ago.

2. Freelance photograph. People. You love them. Offer to do candid portraits because you hate posed portraits. Sports photography maybe. God knows you've taken hundreds of pics at Girls on the Run events and you've enjoyed yourself immensely. Event photography at mud runs, etc. That would be a blast! (And maybe you could get a discount on your entry fee...) Oh and learn Adobe Photoshop.

3. Be a personal shopper. You love to shop. (How does one do this? Must research.)

4. On the photography note: How about candid portraits of moms with their new babies or young children? At home, just doing their thing. Stay an hour, tell them to just carry on like you aren't even there, and snap away. This could work for any "day in the life" stuff. My husband would tell me to hit up big companies that make lots of bucks. (A "day in the life" at Honda, for example?)

5. Travel around to little towns and hamlets in our area, "shop" them, photograph them, and write about them. Who pays for that though? Must research.

6. Help artists promote their work. Most of them suck at it. (NB: Spend some time volunteering for local arts council, like your flaky self keeps saying she will do some day. Might lead to a job...?)

7. Help husband write architectural design proposals for potential clients. (NB: Could lead to divorce. Plus he can't afford me.).

8. Learn more about nutrition and fitness and then help people somehow. (This is really loose but thought I'd just jot it down. I like the idea of helping people find happiness. No idea what kind of career that would be. Not looking to go back to university for four more years either.)

9. Work at Walmart while deciding what the hell I want to do. (Or maybe a Canadian store would be better. Tim Hortons. How much does a franchise cost? Oh Canada...)

10. Finish writing that children's novel you started several years ago, if only to make your artsy children proud of you, who, once in awhile, will ask you in all sincerity, "How's that story coming along?". (It's the cash flow thing though. No-one's paying me to do that. But come fall, less laundry means more creative writing time...)

11. Be a "test runner" for new running routes. Ha ha. Is there such a thing? I just made that up.

12. Knit stuff for people. Hahahahahaha. (Too newb at this one. But my friend Janis is awesome at it and has just started up her own little business. So if you want a sweet little baby cap, for example, I can connect you. In fact, I could promote quite a few artistic friends...)

13. Get paid to blog. (NB: Must blog more often and shamelessly promote oneself.)

14. Be a proofreader. (This is when a real proofreader will laugh and point out all of my mistakes in this blog.)

15. Do all of the above on a steady freelance basis. (Get to work on that business card....)

That's it for now. My half-flaked career list runneth over. I really should go out and run.

Running Tales & 5 Peaks Trails

Oh to be fearless as a child on the trails!

Loving the "unstructuredness" that comes with summer. Not chained to the desk very much these days, but still plodding along with workouts. Actually, plodding seems negative, so how about "bursting forth with positive energy" on an every-other-day basis.

Thanks to my daughter I have also been adding some early mornings to the repertoire. Not easy for a night owl. Yes, the teenager who usually enjoys getting her extra couple of hours of beauty sleep has asked me if I would care to do a 6 a.m. run "because I like getting it done and also because the neighbours won't drive by that early." Or some words to that effect. She has also agreed to join me at the gym (at later hours, of course) for several spin and core strength sessions until she leaves for university this fall. So this past weekend I managed to barter for 7 a.m. and she was OK with that. (Once upon a time I did two boot camps a week from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m., meaning I got up at 5:15 a.m. and hit the road at 5:30 a.m. to get there for 6 a.m. I think I was a little insane back then. Some of my dearest friends, including my fitness instructors, still are. Maybe one day I'll have a relapse into early morning craziness but for now, 7 a.m. is my earliest.)

5 Peaks Adventures Continue...

(Thrive Team in 1st Place So Far...)

So my lazy writing hands failed to record the latest 5 Peaks race, which happened two weeks ago at Albion Hills in Caledon, Ontario. Lovely trail. Beautiful sunny day. I had to laugh at my results. Earlier this summer, I was so pleased to "podium" for the first time EVER at our town's Summer Solstice 11K ROAD (key word) race, placing first out of 12 women in my age category, at 1:05. Fast forward to the latest 5 Peaks 11K TRAIL (key word) race: twelfth out of 12 women in my age category, at 1:36! I tried to "run like a kid" through the woods (somewhat) but I think that as a kid, I must have been a little cautious too. So I was running like the careful kid I was, and that didn't help my speed. Don't wanna fall and scrape my pretty knee! I guess what I need to do next time is run like my 10 year old son. (And also maybe stop being so damn polite about not passing certain people who are clearly slower than me. Being polite must add a couple of minutes to the clock, at least.) My husband compares my fear of going fast/falling on the trails to the way I downhill ski. "Just let your skis RUN!" he calls out to me in his best coach's voice, every winter, as we glide down our local little ski hill. "I don't like SPEEDING!" I usually yell back. Every winter. Same words. We've been married nearly 24 years. I digress.

 More Inspirational Trail Running Technique Photos Featuring My Little Athlete:

"How to Run Like a Child 101"

So granted, I have some work to do to get better on the trails. But what I and my running friends have noticed, when we go to these 5 Peaks races, is that there are a lot of super, (uber?) fit, competitive people at these particular events. There are a lot of hard core outdoorsy types whose careers probably centre around fitness (not to mention our own run coach, Ann, who is making it a habit of being on the podium this summer. In fact, we have so many great runners on our team gaining points for their awesome times, that the Thrive Team is currently standing at first place in Ontario! Yes! Even with slowpoke moi on the team!) I wish I got a photo of one gorgeous blonde 40-something woman who was in the race. We all admired her defined muscles as she stood at the start line in her little black running shorts and tank top. Just before the race began, I saw her husband/boyfriend lean in close to give her a little kiss on the neck and a quick pinch on her well formed gluteus maximus. Then there was the guy whose conversation with a fellow runner I overhead while running through the woods. He was running with a heavy backpack because he was training for an ultra trail running event. Some 100K thing. Then there are the teenagers and 10 year olds. W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R. (Seriously though, love to see the kids doing this. They are awesome and are setting themselves up for a lifetime of health and wellness.)

As a "late bloomer" to trail running, my goal for 5 Peaks is to podium in 10.5 years. By then I'll be 60. And guess what? There was not one woman in the 60-69 age category for the Enduro (long) course two weeks ago. Hopefully that trend will continue, or at least be the case at one of these trail runs in 2024! I have 10 years to look like that gorgeous taut-assed blonde. And if I get there, my husband better be there to pinch my butt.

Random Things That Have Made Me LOL Lately:

• At 5 Peaks, they give away awesome draw prizes. Sometimes they make you work for them. Like when they held a "plank contest" and a bunch of us eagerly gathered together to be put through a "last man/woman planking" competition in order to get a shot at earning the last few prizes up for grabs. A "judge" (Ahem, clearly unlicensed...) walks around and disqualifies anyone whose butt is "too high" or "too low". About 2 minutes into it, if that, who but my own fitness coach gets disqualified for her butt being too high. Hahahaha we chuckled. And then I get the little tap - OUT!. W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R. (My butt naturally sticks out lady!) But our friend Janate hung on to the end! I have pictures to prove it -- but she'd kill me if I posted them. Pardon the pun. LOL.

• My friend Heather made me laugh tonight while we chatted at our boys' soccer game. She has become quite dedicated to running, and is an early riser. This morning, we had quite a dip in temperature after several days of hot humid weather. So she woke up, planning to hit the pavement for her usual crazy early 6 a.m. time, but had a fashion conundrum! "It was cold out this morning, so I lay in bed and started wondering what would be the best thing to wear, shorts? capris? leggings? t-shirt? jacket? long-sleeved shirt?" No matter. In the end, she dozed off in mid-thought and missed her run altogether. 

• Running with my daughter yesterday morning after she dragged me out of bet early, the caffeine and adrenaline kicked in, and I was feeling great. "Two things make me think more optimistically about everything," I said enthusiastically as we kept pace with each other. "The positive endorphins that are emitted during a shower and running. Running just gets me thinking about all kinds of possibilities! " By comparison, she has a much more cut-and-dried opinion of running: "I just try not to die," she responded. Funny girl.

Poitras Pushes Past Pain to Podium

My muscles were no longer a seething Revolutionary Tribunal and seemed to have given up on complaining . . . I realized all of a sudden that even physical pain had all but vanished. Or maybe it was shoved into some unseen corner, like some ugly furniture you can't get rid of. (Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. A Memoir. 2008)

Who knew? 

Who knew that despite having very sore quads from running down a mountain on a Saturday (OK part of a mountain. OK in Ontario. OK a slope) that one could "push through the pain" and actually place first in one's age category in a road race the following Tuesday? Not me. But I did. And I did.

I was certainly the last person to think I would place first in any running category at any time in my life. Hell, I am the last person to think I would even bother to "push through pain" in order to achieve something (well, except childbirth). I'd rather have a glass of wine and read about someone else doing that (like one of my favourite authors, Haruki Murakami, who is a runner, and who decided one day to run solo from Athens to Marathon. Or, for that matter, like my mighty little sister-in-law, Mandy Poitras, a former cyclist for the Canadian National Team, who has plenty of "pushing past pain" stories.). But - three cheers - I did, last week, at the 5th annual Summer Solstice Run in Alliston, organized by Thrive Fitness Studio. First out of 12 women in the 40-49 age group at 1:05:26 for 11K. 

Nice tech shirts in the race kits this year and special "I Was On the Podium at the Summer Solstice Run" shirts for first and second place winners as well.
(Perhaps THAT was my motivation: a literal podium fashion statement?)

Now, I must admit, as much as I enjoy entering running events with my good friend and neighbour Janate, I was quite OK with her not being available for this one. Because then I would have placed second. And the woman who placed first overall for females may have also placed second at her 50-minute time, because I think Janate probably runs a comfortable 11K training run in about 45 minutes. Yep. She would have screwed up a lot of podium honours for a lot of people. Thanks for working that night Janate! 

(And naturally, it was also a bonus that our run coach, Ann, didn't run it, because she would have given Janate a run for her money, and if we stretch even further back in history, our good friend Janette also would have kicked ass (and will again, at some future race, very soon) if she 1) hadn't broken her leg last year and 2) wasn't volunteering as the emcee for this event. Oh, right, and then there's Ang, who is young and strong was always in the lead during our tough winter training runs, but who also opted out of the race in order to volunteer at the registration table. So thanks to my friends who work a lot and/or are very giving of their time, I was able to podium!)

Whereby the "40-49er" Waxes Glorious About Her Podium Race, Ad Nauseam:

Leading up to the start the only thing that made my quadriceps feel better was a ton of stretching. As soon as I stopped and walked, it felt like the muscles would start shrinking back again into tight little knots. My head really wanted to run this race, just to be out on a country road with no roots, rocks or mud to contend with. I felt strong in every other way, except for those quads.

When the start gun blasted, I plugged in my iPod Shuffle (first time ever using one in a race) and began a slow hobble, which isn't so unlike how I usually begin a race. That is probably why I never opt to run short races. I am very slow to start. The hobbling continued, through a lovely country road route just south of Alliston, until almost the halfway turnaround point. The road was hilly, but not too strenuous. The sun was shining. I saw another running pal, Mhairi, who is usually ahead of me, at the rest stop grabbing a drink of water and stretching. Ha! I thought. Mhairi doesn't usually stretch mid-run! What's wrong? I am not supposed to be catching up to Mhairi! But I am! (Secret "WhooHoo" for me! haha). 

"What are you doing Mhairi?" I asked my friend, "Don't you know you are my pace bunny at most races?"

"Ok, Ok," she responded, in typical "boot camp style," as she picked up the pace for the next incline. But my pace was just a tad faster, miracle of miracles. (Maybe it was my iPod music, that masked the sound of my heavy breathing, especially during the hill ascents.)

With my friendly competition behind me just enough that I couldn't see her shadow anymore, I pushed my sorry legs (at this point just numb to the post-mud-run pain and putting up with me and my pointless ambition) over the hills again and - with Pink blasting "Raise Your Glass" - straight to the finish line. (Thank-you, Janette, for the compliments over the microphone about my fashionable running dress: Skirtsports.com.)

When Mhairi was called to podium right after me for placing second in our age category, we both looked at each other in giddy astonishment. ("What? Are we the only two women in their 40s who ran it?")

Congratulations, belated as it is, to all those who ran the Summer Solstice runs last week, both the 5K and 11K. There were "firsts" for a lot of people. First race, first time running the entire distance, personal bests (LeeAnne, way to go on that 28 minute 5K, that is FAST girl!), perhaps even firsts after recovery from an injury. 

As for my quads, they felt better after that big push. Go figure. 

** Note to Local Readers: Thrive Olympics this Wednesday night, June 26, 7 p.m. 

Visit www.thrive fitness.ca for more info.**

Post Met Con: A New Recruit's Journey into Mudness

Who's Your  Momma?

We SURVIVED our first Met Con Blue! 

What a blast. Loved it loved it loved it.

My body has been on fire for two days now. Walking has proven to be quite a challenge, especially after sitting for a stretch of time (hell even after sitting for a brief period of time, like, say, on the toilet. Helloooo? Can anybody help me up to the standing position?) You know you may have overworked your quads a tad when, 48 hours after you descended a mountainside, you wince in sheer agony when your kitten walks across your legs.

But would I do it again, you ask? HELL YES! How insane is that?

A Helpful Chart for Those Thinking About Trying Met Con Blue 2014
(Circled Are All the Muscles Currently in Shock on My Sorry Body!)

As sore as my body is, I have already taken advantage of the "early early bird" registration and signed up for next year, as has my daughter and hopefully most of our team from this year! My goal, and my daughter's, and my friend Dawn's, is to train like hell this year to improve our upper body strength. I thought I had a little. Apparently I have none. Unlike my iron woman friend Janate, who helped heave oh, I would guess about 250 live bodies over various obstacle walls, all the while wearing a GoPro head cam. (I cannot WAIT to see that video.) I mean, she had to do something to entertain herself while waiting for the weak links of the team to catch up to her, right?

Mud Patties Rule!
(Those boulders are real)

Seriously though, we all signed up to have a hell of a lot of mud-slinging, body bruising fun and that's exactly what we accomplished. The vertical climb at the beginning was quite the challenge. Many people walked it, pacing themselves, considering all the crazy obstacles that the twisted, sick minds of the Met Con Blue organizers concocted for their recruits further up the mountain. I soon found my mantra of "You can do this. You can do this" turned into, "You paid for this. You paid for this. Hahahaha. You paid for this." (Sort of like an insane narrator from an Edgar Allan Poe tale. Maybe it was the oxygen deprivation at the high altitude, I don't know.)

The "scariest" part, to me, was probably when I had to force myself to submerge fully under icy cold brown water, under a floating log (as in a wood log. Frig! Not like the "floating log" in the pool scene from Caddyshack. You middle-aged movie buffs will remember that one.) Although who knows, right? Ewwww! Anyway, despite its murkiness, the water felt invigorating on the hot, sunny day that it was.

Me & Dawn = Middle-Aged Crazy Girl Power.
(Friends for nearly 35 years)

The most difficult parts for me, and the reason my pecs and external obliques are so sore today, were any obstacles that had to do with climbing/scaling a wall. If it wasn't for the help from our stronger team mates, I would still be there now. Push myself up and over? Ha! I became nothing better than a limp rag doll as the bicep babes on our team pushed my sorry ass and yanked me up (and I'm sure felt like heaving me over) so I could sling my leg over and jump down to the other side. I must admit, our strong team members were great. They bit their tongues and cheered us helpless cases onward and upward, telling us we were doing great. That's what makes a great team. In fact, many strong people helped the physically challenged in this race. There was even a guy competing in a wheelchair (who I later learned was the incredible, unstoppable Chris Stoutenburg) with a whole team cheerily manoeuvring him through all kinds of terrain and obstacles. Awesome sight to see. 

The most hilarious moments happened right at the end. Our video-camera-wielding leader Janate (the one who convinced us to sign up for this journey into madness and whose husband, after editing the video, is convinced she is going to lose friends if she keeps this mud run enthusiasm up) hopped into the little mud box (picture a sand box but with higher walls, that you have to climb into, and just replace the sand with oozing muck that fills your socks and shoes up to about mid-calf) and relentlessly started flinging big gobs of muck at her fellow team-mates. "It's a MUD RUN after all!!" Janate roared with delight. "GO MUDDY OR GO HOME!" We returned fire, naturally. (I wonder if one could drown another person in mud...I paid for this...I paid for this...haahahaha. I digress.)

Mission Accomplished
(Note to daughter for next year: Bring a clean pair of shoes for post-race!)

TEAM SPIRIT

Loved how creative people got with their team t-shirts. 

(If you haven't seen the "Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit" YouTube video that inspired the team name above, take a look. It is hilarious. And who doesn't love Betty White's inspirational mantra for living a long life!)

Thank you to these people I don't even know for letting me take your picture.

Then we were hit with the final obstacle that was strategically placed right before the chip-timed finish line. A wall that resembled a half-pipe. (I asked my former skateboarding husband what he thought it was, and he said "quarter-pipe" so we'll go with that. At any rate, it was frigging high.) Long story short - I think it took Dawn and I at least half a dozen tries of running up that wall before the rest of our team (except the young lads, who abandoned us in favour of a better finishing time. Heartless creatures.) finally were able to catch us and haul our sorry asses to the top. Toooo funny! My daughter and her friend managed to mount it on their first respective tries. (But they're young and strong and beautiful. So whatever.) All the while spectators and the emcee cheered us on. I even had a feisty old guy coaching me from the sidelines: "You must RUN up the wall! RUN up the wall! FASTER! FASTER!" (OK! OK! I paid for this! I paid for this! Hahahahahahaha)

At an average pace of 18 minutes per kilometre, this was by far the longest 5 K event of which I have ever had the pleasure of taking part. Thanks to our great team of nine, many of whom could have easily kicked ass with awesome race results had they done it on their own, we all had a fantastic time, with enough sore muscles and mild bruises to keep us bragging for a few more days at least.

Rah Rah Mud Patties! See you all next year, PLUS some new recruits! (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and if you don't, you soon will.)

OK I've been sitting on my butt composing this for an hour or so. Time to get out of my chair. Helloooo? Help! Family members? Anyone?? OUCHHHHH!

One "clean" shot amongst all the dirty pictures.

Thank you to Logan for the great photos.
Too bad you won't be taking them next year, 'cause you'll be in the race.

Mud Run Fashion Update

Very excited for tomorrow's MET CON BLUE mud run. So excited, in fact, that I shopped for white tank tops for the entire team. Cheap white tank tops. Found some for $2 at the trusty local "GT Boutique." 

And then it started getting a bit ridiculous. I would just like to point out that I am not the only one on my team fretting about the fashion statement for this roll in the muck. Three, count it, THREE, of us were texting back and forth earlier today, discussing our unified "look." There are nine people of all ages, shapes and sizes on our team. I am probably the oldest, then the ages go down from there, to mid-forties, twenties, and teens.

So I'm not sure what the boys are wearing aside from the white shirts, but I have a feeling we girls are going to be sporting some lovely pink attire. Cheap pink attire. I found a running skirt for a great price that I actually hope will wash well afterwards, 'cause it's kinda cute. I texted Janate about it and I think she went and bought the same one. My daughter and her friend have these hot pink long spandex shorts, and my friend Dawn, who can get extremely creative with costumes and often at the last minute (she is an awesome seamstress who can make anything) has some kind of get-up in mind that, she says, she is not yet sure if she is "brave enough" to wear. Hmmmm. Come on Dawn, JUST DO IT! And the "piece de resistance" is the neoprene fingerless grippy gloves I bought at MEC. Now those cost a bit more, but I figure they are tough and can stand some future abuse as well, in the gym or out kayaking or something. 

I suppose I should take a pic of the outfits before they get superbly trashed. So here's the squeaky clean gear so far:

Team costumes, pre mud-run! Soooo pretty, right? Then we'll do a TIDE commercial or something...

Hopefully many more pre and post-race pics to come. And I do believe Janate will be sporting a GoPro cam. Fun fun fun! Bring it on, Met Con!

Timid Trail Runner Interviews Alter Ego: Why a Mud Run?

The fact that I had enough energy in my reserves to run 10K the day after the 5 Peaks Rattlesnake Point Enduro run tells you something about my trail running tempo: S L O W.

No, I was not dead last. I think I was about 23rd from the bottom this time, out of just under 300 runners (1.41 to run 12.8k. Nine whole minutes slower than last year, thanks to the ankle issue I am tired of talking about.) The fastest person chipped in at 1:03 (young and foolish, right?) and the last made it in at 2:16 (Bravo! Many more wouldn't even attempt it). Our Thrive Team has many great athletes on it, including Ann and Steve, co-owners of Thrive Fitness, Alliston, who each placed first in their respective age groups for the Sport course! Because of them and some other "natural born" trail bunnies (Janate, Carol, Tony) on our team, Thrive Team is ranked first in Ontario so far! Thankfully I do not contribute negative points!

Rattlesnake Point on the Niagara Escarpment in Milton is a beautiful course. Lots of wide trails mixed with narrower ones but generally feels a lot more wide open when you are in the woods compared to Hardwood Hills. But Rattlesnake has more rocks. Lots of wet, slippery rocks. And that's what slows me down. It slows a lot of people down, as some parts are just not meant for running. Like the two-foot wide vertical rock-riddled climb early on in the run. We all hike up that one ("Why couldn't you run it?" asks my non-running but former high school jock husband. Sigh. He just doesn't GET IT.) 

Then there are the big walls of boulders we get to climb near the end of the course. Three sets in all! My memory blocked out the last two from 2012, so when I told a new trail runner who stayed behind me for a while (nice young man who was supposed to be running with his dad this summer but unfortunately his dad hurt his leg on a training run), right after we ran up a windy forest path, that we had one more big one to climb, I was incorrect by two. Oops. He still made it across the finish line a few minutes before me though. But I must say it was nice for someone (especially a 20-something someone) to tell me I was keeping him at a good pace. He also said he didn't want to injure himself. So there you have it -- pace with me and you may not even sniff the sweat of the top 70 per cent of finishers, but you will cross the finish line fairly unscathed!

Which leads me to my next pondering. And I decided to write it out as an interview between me and my, I guess, alter ego. (I am alone most of the day, with kids in school and all, so to carry on conversations with myself in my head is normal. To me.)

TIMID TRAIL RUNNER INTERVIEWS SELF ABOUT WHY THE HELL 

SHE IS GOING TO ATTEMPT INSANE MOUNTAIN ADVENTURE RACE

Me: When you talk about trail running, you always mention how you are afraid to hurt yourself, to fall. Why is that?

Alter Ego: Because it hurts.

Me: How would you know that? Just because of one dumb sprained ankle from last year that now refuses to feel normal?

Alter Ego: Yes.

Me: Did you hurt your ankle at Rattlesnake Point?

Alter Ego: No. But it winced a couple of times. And I fell onto my hands once (finally a reason why I do so many planks at core strength class! So I can sustain the full weight of my body onto my hands when I trip on a rock in a forest!) and got dirt on my hands and one leg.

Me: You do realize what event is coming up in four days from now.

Alter Ego: Yes! Met Con Blue. THE most insane 5km mountain obstacle race ON THE PLANET. Or something to that effect.

Me: So you understand you will be running uphill on a mountain side, dealing with all kinds of bizarre obstacles and in-between all of that, running not only on forest trails, but in many instances, very mucky forest trails where you will inevitably slip and fall several times.

Alter Ego: Yes!

Me: You are a sad, strange little woman.

Alter Ego: Yes! But I am in good company: metconrace.com

5 Peaks Prep & June Wardrobe List

You gotta love race organizers with a sense of humour. The 5 Peaks people are hilarious. Just read their pre-race email about tomorrow's event in the Southern Ontario series. My favourite line was, "Unattended children will be tattooed and taught to swear in foreign languages." I liked it so much I had to reply email them to let them know.

I am really looking forward to tomorrow's run at Rattlesnake Point, despite having felt rather winded running uphill this past Monday night on a local trail. I am just going to blame that on not enough sleep or something. Onward and upward! The weather looks like it will co-operate, and hopefully I just didn't jinx the forecast by writing that. What is great about this run is it mixes trail running with a little rock climbing. To me, that's a nice break from the cardio, and gives one a chance to actually use one's upper body strength that one has been honing over the past year for no other reason except to have upper body strength. OK and to look a little better in a sleeveless top. Loosey goosey 40-something underarm flesh be gone!

This might be a good spot to quote Jerry Seinfeld. I happened upon his old book in my eclectic collection the other day, Sein Language, and started flipping pages (it's addictive, that book). I found a great jibe about going to the gym which relates to my upper body strength comment above:

"In modern society, you really don't have to be physically strong to do anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercises. That's comedy." (Jerry Seinfeld, 1993)

So, I guess those of us who exercise regularly should thank all of these run organizers for giving us more reasons to get in shape. They provide a goal for us to reach, and we don't need to worry about being televised or evaluated by judges! We can rely on ourselves to kick our own asses and improve our own PBs (Personal Bests)

Also remembered to carb-load last night and even went to bed early, since I probably won't sleep tonight, as I lay awake trying to remember the best way to wrap my perpetually stiff and wimpy ankle, and which colour wrap matches my outfit. (Some friends would actually think I care about that...). It's noon on Friday right now and I haven't even thought about what I am going to wear tomorrow. With this freakish June weather we've been having it's hard to say what the ideal running outfit would be. Perhaps I should write a list of ideas right here, as it could be useful for others who are running the trail tomorrow, or for that matter, just going anywhere in Southern Ontario that involves being outside.

What to Wear if You are Heading Outside in Southern Ontario 

This June 8-9 Weekend Based on This Past Week's Weather:

1. Shorts, or maybe not. Maybe pants.
2. A short-sleeved t-shirt. Or maybe a long-sleeved one.
3. A sun hat, but pack a toque just in case.
4. Sandals, unless your feet get cold easily, then runners, with warmish socks.
5. At least bring a lightweight sweater or hoodie. Down-filled is good too.
6. A wind-breaker. It would be good if it was water-proof too, with about a -10C insulation factor.
7. Gloves or mitts. Seriously. It's only June.
8. Not to wear, but maybe pack a blanket.
9. And bring rubber boots, just in case. And extra socks.
10. Again not to wear, but bring water, or maybe a thermos of hot tea/coffee/chocolate/toddy.

If I think of anything else I'll add it later. Gotta practise wrapping the ankle now. I am determined to break out of the bottom 10 tomorrow! Or at least break my PB and finish fifth from last instead of fourth.

Here's to the Bottom Top-10!

Saturday's chilly, albeit sunny, weather was perfect for a 5 Peaks trail run. 

And that's how you start off a blog post when you have nothing outstanding to report about your finish. But I am blogging about it anyway, because, who wants to always read about the winners, right? Bottom top-tenners unite! So here's my story:

There were 21 women in my age category (40-49) at the first of the 5 Peaks (Southern Ontario) 2013 trail run series. The good news is, initially I was pretty sure I came in last, but I didn't! I came in fourth from last. Checked my stats online this morning, and noticed that my trail running pace is at least two minutes per km slower than my road running pace. I simply am too afraid to add speed on a forest path riddled with tree roots and stumps and the odd narrow foot bridge with broken wood planks. I instinctively slow right down.

This must be rectified. Although I must admit I did love the feeling of being in a big forest all by myself, which is pretty much what it felt like after about 8 out of the 12 kilometres. But I would like to learn how to conquer that fear and master running trails. I am told all it takes is practise.

An article in the current edition of Running Room Magazine, entitled "Running Surfaces" by John Stanton suggests, "Natural surfaces such as grass, gravel, sand or dirt can be more demanding on your body than road running. The muscles in the lower leg have to work harder to maintain stability on uneven surfaces, and with each step you have to lift your foot higher to clear the trail. Your agility will improve on footpaths as you change and move laterally in order to avoid rocks, roots and puddles."

Yours truly, pre-race and pre-ponytail, sporting my arm warmer which reads:
"Dear God, please let there be someone behind me to read this." (onemoremile.net)

OK, so with that in mind, I need to work my lower legs harder and lift my feet higher. I told this to my friend Janate (who, BTW, placed 6th out of 21 women in our age category and who finished over half an hour before me), who warned that yes, this is true, but there is a fine balance between concentrating on lifting one's feet and running correctly and actually just getting into the "feel" of the trail as you're moving along. "Because you know what happens if you're concentrating too much on (your technique), that's when you end up crashing," she advised. Good point.

So I will try to run more trails. I will go to a special 5 Peaks trail running clinic our Thrive Team leader Ann is hosting at Thrive Fitness, Alliston next month (And BTW, Ann placed 3rd in our age category. I am surrounded by awesome female athletes! That's bound to rub off sooner or later, right??), and when I run trails, I will try to lift my feet higher but I won't try too hard lest I trip and fall flat on my face. Or something like that. Maybe I should just pretend I am my 10 year old son who really just gets out there and does it without thinking at all. Except about winning, of course.

So, because I like humour, I wanted to end with a list today, on the positive aspects of placing (almost) dead last in a 5 Peaks trail run. The list will be fused with possible reasons (read: excuses) for placing almost last.

Why I Am Proud of Placing Almost Last 
in a 5 Peaks Trail Run 

1. I ran it, didn't I?
2. I got the woods all to myself. (I planned it that way...)
3. I ran it, despite having an "athletic injury" (rolled the ankle last July, now it's permanently sensitive aka wussy.)
4. Hardwood Hills, I think, is considered the most technical of all the Southern Ontario 5 Peaks runs. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
5. Hardwood Hills attracts lots of serious trail athletes which means tougher competition. (That's also my story and I'm sticking to it.)
6. I started on Saturday and finished on Saturday. (My answer to those friends who asked how I did after the race was this: "Is it still Saturday?" followed by a resounding, triumphant fist-punching-the-sky "YES!!" when they affirmed it was.)
7. When I turn 50 next year, and place in the top 10 (there were only 7 women in that age category at this race) I can brag about how much I improved over the course of just one year: "Just last year, I was in the bottom 10! Imagine!!"
8. I just run for the joy of the trails. I am not competitive. (I just wanted to type that. Ha ha.)
9. Clearly I was wise in reserving my energy for this coming weekend's half marathon (on a road, thank god!)
10. I showed my true blue Capricorn spirit. We are cautious by nature. (And also ambitious. So perhaps my ambition was not to break my ankle.)

One down, four to go! Looking forward to Rattlesnake Point in June. A breathtakingly beautiful course, that offers a bit of rock climbing and sheer cliff-face drop-offs! (not to climb, just to admire the view from, if you so choose.) This is my second year running the 5 Peaks series and I do enjoy it. It's a great way to challenge yourself and I think it may even be good cross-training for road running. 5 Peaks are offered all across Canada. Check out their web site at www.5peaks.com.

New Photo Section & Make-up Workout

Added a new page today that will be exclusively devoted to my photography passion. Drawback of living in the country with a less-than-stellar internet connection meant it took most of the day to upload the pics, but they're up now, at least the first bunch, taken last month of our flash ice storm. A benefit of living in the country: fantastic photo opportunities on bad weather days.

No workouts to report today. May go to a core strength class tomorrow morning for an hour, then tomorrow night a few of us soccer moms are starting a new Friday night run routine, while the boys practise on the field. I am hoping most people will be okay with a couple of kilometres because I just checked what time the 5 Peaks trail race begins on Saturday. Registration is 7:30 a.m. and race starts at 9:15. Basically have to leave around 7 a.m. While I am not a morning person, I can force myself to be, to get to a race on time.

In-between morning workout class tomorrow and evening "run clinic" I will be playing cabbie for my daughter, who will be getting ready for prom! Hair appointment in the afternoon, then home makeup session, dress-up and photos (my favourite part). If I repeat the "candid photo session" I cheerily undertook with my first born son and his prom date/friends four years ago, my daughter and her date/friends should be sufficiently sick of me and my camera in no time at all! I am so looking forward to it! We practised the make-up ritual this evening. What a workout that was! Apparently the look I gave her was "too dark" around the eyes, but I thought it looked very lovely and dramatic, for a first go at it anyway. It maybe needed a little more blending, but not bad. I would post a picture of her eyes but she'd probably have a meltdown. (Note to Self: Do NOT under any circumstances, offer to apply daughter's makeup on her wedding day! Oh, the drama!) 

Oh what the heck. She never reads this blog anyway and it's just her eye for crying out loud. So here it is, the trial pre-prom "dramatic eye effect." (my words, not hers) :

Yes, a little more blending with the liner needed.
At least we won't have to do this for the mud run next month.

I was almost thinking of skipping tomorrow morning's core strength session, but on second thought, with all the prom stress, I think I will need the relief of a workout! 

Please check out my photos if you have a chance. I have thousands more that I've taken over the years and hope to add to the new page regularly. I used to write/photograph for a local country magazine which is no longer published, and I miss showing my pics. So this is one way to get them out there.

Next blog post will likely be after the trail run (and the prom makeup trial run. Ha ha.) Looking forward to it! Hopefully the sun will be shining again.

Thank You for My Patience?

This call will be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (Happy, up-beat music. Lalalalalala.)

Just for fun I thought I would see how many paragraphs I could get in while on hold with Sears' new improved customer service line. (AKA: Your response to my call will be monitored by my blog post. Thank you for making me hold. Your bill will be payed on time and without delay, so I can avoid your exceptionally high interest rate. Lalalalala.) I will type the exact number of "Thank you for your patience...etc" that it finally takes before the next associate answers my call.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (Same happy, up-beat song. Lalalalala.)

Typing that repetitive line is good for me too, because I have been in a bit of a writing funk lately and just the act of typing on the keyboard gets my creative juices flowing a bit better. 

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (This happy song goes on forever. Lalalala whatever.)

Same with beginning an exercise regime, in a way. You can sometimes get in a real funk with your body - as in, "I REALLY don't want to move this body of mine. It is SOOO comfortable on this big cushy chair and this book I am reading is really getting good. I will exercise after I finish this chapter."

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (Way to get someone to hate a happy song. Lalalalala please stop.)

 Or, "I will begin my exercise regime tomorrow. I am a morning person and now it is the afternoon so I am done for. Won't work." Or perhaps you're like my husband: "I will begin exercising again after (pick any one of these imaginary starting points: "my business gets off the ground; 

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (I am totally not listening to the happy song anymore.)

the Olympics are over; hockey season is over; the kids begin summer holidays; my wife finishes her next race; after allergy season is over; when I have more time." ETC ETC ETC ad fin item. 

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (--------------------------------------------- not listening, not listening.)

Yes I do tend to roll my eyes and tease my husband about his "start date" for getting back into exercising. He does work very hard at his business and also volunteers as a manager for ours son's soccer team. 

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (Could they not have more than one tune? How is this an improvement?)

When he worked downtown years ago, he had to get up super early to avoid traffic. Being very routine-oriented, he got himself into a great exercise routine whereby he would leave the house at, like, a ridiculous a.m. hour so he could work out at a gym near his office first, and then still be the first guy at work. He was in great shape back then. He's not in bad shape now, but he knows he could stand to lose some weight around his middle. So he's now in the "As soon as" funk.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (F..... No. I promised myself I would not resort to F-shots on my blog. Yet.)

It happens to all of us. Because I have been doing more cross-training than running lately, I actually almost dreaded what it was going to feel like to go on a long run last Friday, but I did it anyway, assuring myself, "Even if you have to walk, just get out there. (Like the magazine, Get Out There. Good reads.) Just do it (do I have to credit Nike for that one?)." Turns out I had the stamina for 16 km. Once I got going, I got the groove back. And it felt good.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (Unbelievable, really.)

You have to be persistent. I have read that it takes 10 days in a row to make an exercise activity a habit. Sounds pretty do-able to me. Perhaps it works for writing a blog as well. All I know is that it's easier to come up with a whiny excuse than to actually do something that you know will make you feel better about yourself. We humans are so....weird and whiny when we want to be.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (My patience and one happy song x 10 and counting...)

Our first trail run of the 5 Peaks series is this Saturday. My ankle still hurts from when I rolled it last July. I am told by my physiotherapist that the nerves there may have a permanent tendency to feel pain a little quicker now. So I have a "wussy ankle" as I've come to call it.  

I could choose to avoid the trails altogether, and blame my ankle. But I like running trails. I am not great at it yet, and maybe I'll just go from fair to good. That's okay. But I'll try to be persistent. My ankle will just have to be happy with some KT Tape and/or a compression sock.

Speaking of persistence:

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important to us and will be answered by the next available associate. (Eleven times. Lalalalalala. Maintenance appointment finally booked!)

I (Try To) Run, Therefore I Spin . . .

Training for the next half marathon is becoming an experiment. 

(Backgrounder: In general, I chalk it up to "an experiment" whenever I do something incorrectly, so I don't feel like I have totally wasted my time with an activity, or so I don't feel overly guilty about something trivial that I forgot to do. E.G.: Forgot to clean the guinea pig cages this week? Make it an experiment to see if your kid actually notices the stench in his room. Forgot to buy most of the ingredients for a recipe? Experiment! Substitute until you have yourself a brand new recipe and then see how much the family likes it. Slept in late? Experiment! See how fast you can get your kids ready for school and out the door before the bus shows up. You get the idea.) 

So the "experiment" in which I find myself swimming at the moment is this: See if you can run a successful half marathon, with primarily cross-training as your main workout regime, as opposed to running. Makes not one stitch of sense, does it? I did not plan this half-baked, ridiculous experiment, but looking at the calendar and looking at the race day of June 1, I am starting to think this might just be the least amount of kilometres my feet have run leading up to a long distance race since I started all of this running stuff five years ago.

This finishing time is my "personal best" for a half marathon.
I do believe my run/cross-train ratio was 70/30 for that one. 
My current "experiment" has it at, oh, about 10/90.

My run journal for the past month looks impressive though, just not with running entries. It is filled with spin classes and core strength and circuit training and TRX resistance training, with a few measly kilometres thrown in here and there. The heart is in fine shape. The arm and leg and butt muscles are too. But (pardon the pun) is that enough to get me through 21 kilometres? (I have trained for, and completed, about eight or nine halfs in my life by now, plus a marathon, a 30K and a bunch of trail events. That should count for something too...shouldn't it? Hmmm.) And then there are the trail run events looming. "Enduro" events. Meaning long trail runs. Hmmmm.

We had our first trail running session last night. A bunch of us are on the same team for the 5 Peaks trail running series and we are starting to meet on Monday nights at a local trail, just to get some mileage in before the first event on May 25. This should help me get somewhat "on track" so to speak, for both the trail events and the half marathon. But WOW, did I absolutely crash and burn at the trail run last night (not actually crash and burn, just, well, sucked.)

We began in a group, but it took, oh, maybe 10 seconds before I started telling everyone "Don't feel the need to stay with me. I am tired. Just go ahead." Within five minutes they were around a bend and gone, and I was "alone" in the woods. (But not really. Lots of people walk this trail with their dogs, which freak me out when they're not on a leash, but that's another story.) The trail is only a 2K loop but despite that, it honestly felt like gravity was pulling extra hard on my feet with every step I tried to "run." And so much for "powering up the hills" like our coach Ann suggested. Frig. I walked up most of them.

Our goal was to ease into the training and just do two loops. So I "ran" (whatever) the first loop right back to my truck, where my daughter waited (yes, she could have run, but she just got her hair cut and blow-dried and curled, so she decided to wait for me and read Glamour magazine instead). I told her, "If you see my running friends come back, just tell them they don't have to wait. I am going to attempt one more loop." (Because I am stubborn and rule-driven.)

She didn't notice them come back to the parking lot and look for me after they completed their two loops. So as I rounded the last bend in the hilly field, I see two of my friends walking up the trail. "Ha ha - did you send out the search party?" I called. "Yes! We're it!" they responded cheerily. So you get the idea of how slow I was. Slow enough for friends to send out a search party. L. O. L.

Spin class in action, complete with great music.
(Thrive Fitness, Alliston)

Not to sweat the small stuff or anything, but, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? My friend Janate, who can't run Monday nights due to a schedule conflict with her kids' activities, ran the hills today instead (and did four repeats because she is Superwoman, but W H A T E V E R. I secretly hate her. I hope she is reading this and laughing because it is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek.) She suggested I was probably too exhausted from the morning class that day, which consisted of a 45-minute spin class followed by an hour of core strength training. I think she's probably right. (Note to Self: It probably also didn't help that you ate a toasted ham

TRX strength class at Thrive.

and processed cheese flatbread washed down with a decaf coffee from Tim Horton's less than an hour before you began your run. You are SO not a role model, Ms Simcoe Fitness Seeker!)

But I love those classes. So I will continue to spin, and challenge my core, and lift weights, because that is good for "older" people (boosts metabolism, improves moods, makes it easier to lift a load of wet towels from the washing machine, etc.). I will try to get some runs in before these run events. If my finishing time ends up being less than stellar, by my own standards, then I will chalk it up to the results of my "cross-training-in-lieu-of-road-mileage experiment."